Remember Pat Benatar? As one of the female rockers of the early Eighties, she produced a string of Top 40 hits. Then she faded from the scene. A few years ago, I saw one of those “Behind the Music” documentaries about her. At the time, she was taking a break from her music career to raise her children. One of the people interviewed was her former manager, a very stereotypical British rock band manager. When asked about Benatar’s sabbatical from music he said, “Pat and her husband have decided to make a sacrifice to raise their children. And who’s to say they’re wrong?”
As if sacrificing for one’s children were a debatable or controversial subject. We live in a culture in which there are few taboos left. Entertainers and artists have the freedom to use any word they want in their creations. There are few dirty words left except one. Sacrifice.
During the Depression and World War II era, our parents and grandparents were expected to make sacrifices. Giving things up for the greater good was the norm. There was little controversy around the concept of sacrifice. Today, politicians avoid the word like the plague. In the midst of terrorism, security concerns, war and rising oil prices, one is hard pressed to hear any public figure call on Americans to sacrifice anything. The concept is the third rail of American politics.
Politicians may lack a lot of things, but shrewdness isn’t one of them. Anyone seeking popularity has good reason to fear uttering that word. Our societal mindset has transformed from one of sacrifice to one of entitlement, from one of generosity to one of self-indulgence.
In the midst of all this pressure to actualize ourselves, you and I, as followers of Jesus are called to live lives of sacrifice. In a later chapter of Romans, the apostle Paul invites us to present ourselves as “living Sacrifices” to God. Could the church come up with a more unappealing message?
In spite of all this, our collective flinching at the concept of sacrifice is not totally motivated out of selfishness. History, as well as personal life stories, are littered with the remnants of people who led miserable lives, always sacrificing for others. We know and perhaps some of us are, people who have been so manipulated or abused by those who claim to love them, that they can no longer stick up for themselves. So they always sacrifice their wants and needs to others in an unhealthy way.
Any talk of giving up what we want then scares us. We think it is the first skid down the slippery slope to low self-esteem and being a doormat for people. That is not the kind of self-sacrifice we’re exploring today. We have to be careful not to use that fear as an excuse to never put others first.
On a late-night talk show this week, I saw actress Terri Hatcher discussing her new book. It is all about taking care of yourself. Many of us, women especially, she said, always think of themselves last. They are so busy taking care of everyone else first, that they forget to care for themselves. Certainly, we should never get to the point where we are so consumed with the needs of others that we forget our own.
For centuries woman have been expected to be the ones to make the disproportionate amount of sacrifices, to their husbands or fathers. In the past half century, we as a culture have sought to remedy that injustice, but I can’t help but wonder if we have drawn the wrong conclusions. It is as if we have collectively decided that like men, women should stop sacrificing as well. So now we have a world where it no one is expected to sacrifice anything for anyone. The most prized pursuit is that of one’s own happiness and fulfillment. Meanwhile, marriages and families fall apart.
When women were making all the sacrifices, what if instead of deciding that sacrifice was bad thing, we had decided that men should make them too? What if we were to view our marriages and families as mutually sacrificial relationships?
Our fear of sacrifice isn’t so much a man/woman thing anymore. It’s more of a me/you thing. Regardless of gender, me sacrificing for you bad thing. However, you sacrificing for me good thing. So much of the conflicts in our families and marriages can be traced to that simple inequity.
Many of us are familiar with the analogy of oxygen masks on planes. Flight attendants tell us that if we are traveling with others in need of assistance to put on our own oxygen mask first and then help the others. For many, that analogy has become a free pass to strap on their own mask and suck away. Somehow we have forgotten the other half of the flight attendant’s instructions to help those around us in need of assistance. On this journey through life we are all traveling with those who need assistance because we are traveling with one another. Believe me, we all need assistance.
The only way we are all going to make it through this journey is by sacrificing for one another. It’s the only way we will keep from blowing one another up. It’s the only hope for the world. Sure religion has been the cause of much of the world’s problems. However, it is also our only hope because it is the only force in the world that takes us outside ourselves.
Unfortunately, much popular religion leaves out the concept of sacrifice. Look in the spirituality section of a bookstore sometime. Almost every book, whether New Age or Christian, is all about getting what you want. It’s all about your journey, your path, your self improvement and discovering, not God, but you. Because, after all, you are God. In other words, just put on the oxygen mask and suck away.
What is more, this kind of spirituality is primarily a solo activity. Unlike being part of a faith commnity, one can read all about being enlightened or deepening their spiritual journey and never be held accountable by anyone to actually put it into practice. Perhaps some of you can relate to that. Maybe you always find yourself reading the latest spiritual bestseller. That is a great thing. I’m not condemning that. In fact I believe that is the grace of God already at work in your life. Yet you feel vaguely dissatisfied, as if you are always just on the verge of starting a spiritual journey, but never quite getting underway. Today I want to challenge you with the idea that taking that first step may involve sacrificing something on your part.
Even the first century was not immune from self-indulgent religion. In the book of Romans, Paul spends several chapters painting a picture of a loving and forgiving God. A God who extends such undeserved grace to humans that he has effectively killed off evil. This sublime truth caused an odd response in some of Paul’s readers. If evil provides God with the chance to be gracious, then the more we sin, the more grace God gives out. So really, our doing wrong brings about something good and we should do even more wrong, right Paul?
If Paul were alive today, I imagine he would look at these people and respond, “What are you an idiot? What is wrong with you? Who purposely goes around doing the wrong thing, other than a psychopath? How self-indulgent can you get?”
Paul goes even further to denounce this I-centered religion. He tells them, “You think this is all about you. Let me tell you something. You are dead. That baptism thing we did with you, when we dunked you under the water, that symbolizes your being buried. There is no more you. And when we raised you out of the water, that was you rising with Christ. So there is no more you, just the Risen Christ living in you.”
So much of our conflicts stem from an I versus you mentality. Yet Paul tells us, that in our baptism, the I is dead. Jesus said that those who lose their life will save it and those who try to save their life will lose it. In the 20th century, theologian Detriech Bonhoeffer said that when Christ asks someone to follow him he is asking them to come and die.
At first, that sounds like bad news. Self survival is after all our strongest instinct. The amazing thing about it however, is that it is good news. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that the our old self, the ego, is dead and that in our baptism we have been raised with Christ. So much of our dysfunction and defensiveness stems from trying to protect our fragile self and self image. We expend so much energy seeking what we want and building up ourselves that ironically, we burn ourselves out and feel even worse.
Jesus calls us to life of mutual sacrifice. When you were baptized, whether as an infant, or adult you were beginning the process of killing yourself off so that Christ could shine more brightly in you. That means living a life of sacrifice, of not putting your own happiness first all the time.
Wait a minute Don! Are you saying that I have to put my kids or my wife or husband first? You not saying that, are you? You can’t be serious. Yes , I am. Welcome to adulthood. As a follower of Jesus we are all called to sacrifice for those we care about, as long as it does not put us in a situation where we are being abused or manipulated. Jesus said, “ I lay down my life on my own know one takes it from me.” Like him, our sacrifices need to come from a healthy position and attitude. Sacrifice is not synonymous with a low self=esteem and abuse.
As Jesus followers, living mutually sacrificial lives, we are called to be a church. That means we sacrifice for one another and for God. Not for the pastor. A pastor friend of mine had a parishioner who every time they served here thought they were dong he pastor a personal favor. So they started demanding favors in return, which my friend did not provide. Needless to say, the person became resentful and left the church. I say, “So long.” Churches do not need people consumed with their own agendas and serving themselves. Churches need people who serve God.
To be a part of this church means making sacrifices, but the sacrifices we make are for God and the good of the church as a whole. Sacrifices of time, energy and money. That means we all have to step up in service and follow through with the things we say we are going to do. It is the only way this place can work and accomplish our mission. We are not merely a provider of religious goods and services where one can come, get fed and feel good. We are in a covenant of mutual sacrifice for this mission.
Our mission is simple, to make disciples of Jesus. We want to be a place that empowers more and more people to be like Jesus. To be like Jesus sounds fun, you get to heal people, you turn water into wine, you walk on water. We forget though, that Jesus also sacrificed himself on a cross for us. Being Christ-like isn’t all walking on water.
You want to be like Jesus? Sacrifice yourself.